elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
