SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
