In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
