I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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