That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This is classic penis vs brain.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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