woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she looked like the before picture.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
