some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
