I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
