ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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