i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize