seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize