I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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