I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
