I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
