I wish I could teleport
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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