I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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