I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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