Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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