my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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