she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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