drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize