we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
