My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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