She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
