you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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