so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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