Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
