If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize