I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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