It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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