I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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