I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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