Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
