I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
