I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize