It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
