You work out of a Hotel?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm too high and old for this...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
