I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
