I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish you could order shots online.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
