Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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