He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
