So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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