You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
