Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
