this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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