I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
