I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so let's talk penis.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
