that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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