I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
