last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
