I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
