I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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