I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
