You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
