Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
