He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
