Don't you send me to vm
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
