how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
