Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
