the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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