No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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