Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
